So, probably when department heads said “eat breakfast before work” they really meant “set up a make-your-own savory oats bar for your coworkers at your desk,” right?

I mean, really I found out that that policy was announced in a meeting that I wasn’t even invited to, and isn’t really enforceable. I am concerning myself more with the potential new “no shorts/flip flops/jeans/sneakers” policy that may be coming down the pike. WHAT’S NEXT, NO MORE MAGIC BULLET AT MY DESK?

The real winner was my steel cut oat combo of salt/pepper/olive oil/parmesan/poached egg. I don’t usually say zomg*, but zomg.

*false. Like “totes,” “totes magotes” and “whatevs,” zomg has found its way into my vernacular after I started by saying it ironically. Oops! Whatevs…